Darth was recently given an Empire-cal Premier League second-division men's Soccer team, 'Force', to coach, who made wooden-spooners last year in 2013. Darth was at first reluctant to take the role as coach of these wooden-spooners, mainly used to dealing with the top cream-of-the crop. But when reminded of his Empire-cal power and how he can turn things around, he saw it all before him – 'Of course, that's it'.
When Darth first laid eyes on these wooden-spooners, who came from far and wide in the galaxy, it was mixed emotions. It was like an image of the galaxy in one team. There were short or tall, fat and skinny, different nationalities and humans and creatures. Darth did not know where to start – 'Well, it looks like we might have something here'.
The team resembled a bunch of misfits, you know the story, but like they said, Darth could see something more in them. When Darth gave his first speech to the team, it was on the field at the local sports ground and they were distracted and dispersed – 'If I can have your attention please everyone. I was about to call you a bunch of misfits, but now I know you are only misinformed and misguided. Today and tomorrow, you will be on top-of-the-table, yesterday as wooden-spooners, stirring the pot, is no more. With the variety and unique skills and abilities I can see before me, we can put together an Empire-cal Premier League second division Soccer team none the Empire has ever seen. Don't believe, we shall see. I don't see misfits in front of me ('stop calling us misfits', one of the players said), and I'll change that word very soon, don't worry, I see my Empire-cal country men standing before me. Are you with me? I said, are you with me? There were ad hoc shouts and yells that came from the bunch, which showed a case of in-between being happy and dismal. Darth said, 'we have some work to do here'.
Now Darth got down to the business end of his new coaching role, Darth's favourite, 'strategising'. Darth chose an initial 2-4-4 formation which can change at any time, given the circumstances. There were two Strikers, Four Mid-fielders and Four Backs, and a Goalie.
Two tall and mobile Strikers were chosen in twin brothers, Skimpy and Dimpy. There were two attacking mid-fielders and two defensive mid-fielders who did swap from time-to-time during the game. Roley and Foley, smaller, lean and fast creatures, were the two attacking mid-fielders, and Blocky and Stocky, who were bigger and bulkier speedsters, were the two defensive mid-fielders and humans. The Backs had two big and strapping blokes in the centre as Stopper and Sweeper with Big-T, a creature, as Stopper, and Billy, a human, as Sweeper. The defensive wings resembled a more slower version of the defensive mid-fielders with Mathow, a creature, and Timmy, a human. The Goalie was Jumpy, a half human-half creature, who jumps and moves all over the place, hardly sitting still. On the bench were four replacements for each of the areas, Strikers, Mid-fielders, Backs and Goalie. Respectively, there was Bit-T, Grovel, Lancaster and Jumpy. On the bench were four replacements for each of the areas, Strikers, Mid-fielders, Backs and Goalie. Respectively, there was Bit-T, Grovel, Lancaster and Smoaty.
And then the team was born and the time had come for the season ahead.
Darth devised a marketing plan with management to market the team and Force brand to the Empire. And hey, it worked; at first former and new supporters were a bit reluctant, but they wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Some supporters came to watch the side at training.
The 2-4-4 formation and Darth's players found it hard to begin with, making mistakes and arguing with each other all the time. But a tough off season with plenty of drills, skills and fitness had the boys primed for Empire-cal greatness – 'Is that it? Are we finished yet Darth?' Darth had made-up a little book of tricks to get his team into ultimate winning mode, and no one knew about it until the season started.
The team had a dismal start to the season of the 38 games played for the year. They lost their first five games, even with the cheerleaders, and by the fifth match, players and supporters were beginning to lose hope. Near the end of the fifth game, Darth disappeared from the side-lines and into the Force dressing room where he studied his book of strategies and tricks a bit more in depth. He began to make changes at training, and with another inspirational speech, along with a threatened two-finger throat crush, obviously scaring the players, things started to change.
The 'Force', won all their games to make it to the finals. Darth was the man and his players and management were more popular than ever. Other coaches were wondering how Darth had come up with his tricks and strategies to create a very fluid style of play for his team. But Darth somehow kept it guarded for the whole season, blaming it on chance and luck.
The Force make it to the semi-final, one match from the Grand Final, and deep in the second half, Roley let's fly with a screamer from outside the box on the left, to Bend-It-Like-Beckham. This is when the match is level 1-1. Roley has won the game, and the Force supporters go ecstatic. The Force are into the Grand Final against Empire 1, the darling of the second division and Premier League, and who have lost just one game all season. The Force lost one of their five opening games to Empire 1, being thrashed 6-1.
The players and management, confront Darth before the game, and want him to sign on as Head Coach for some more years with the Force, win or no win in the Grand Final. Darth, a bit hesitant, states, 'oh, oh, why not. Hoohahaha.'
Almost like a slow-motion play, the players enter the field and the supporters erupt. Both supporters are kept separate for the game in case of any disruptions, with Empire 1 fans making chants about the Force. Photos are taken of each team, as well as some heated photos of each coach, including Head Coach Cluesie of Empire1, looking eye-to-eye with the Empire-cal Premier League second division trophy. The Empire Anthem is played, and what is it, who knows, use your imagination. Now somehow, Darth's book of strategising and tricks has gone missing. Darth, a bit worried, thinks nothing of it, and that his players know everything by now.
The whistle blows and the Empire 1 team are red-hot. Most teams in the Force's winning run would not even reach the Backs of the Force team, but Empire 1 were doing at ease. What was going wrong, Darth was wondering. Then the Empire 1 strikers unleash on Goalie Jumpy, over and over, until, 1…2…3….4 goals go past in the first half. Empire 1 top striker, Ulsee, has done most of the damage. Feeling the game was over, the Force players head for the dressing room, heads down, at half time. Darth begins to join them, then all of a sudden he sees Head Coach Cluesie with his book. Darth figures Cluesie has found out the team's game plan and is furious. But he remembers his days with the Jedi, and he calms down and begins to re-strategise.
Darth gives one hell of an inspirational speech to his players and goes over some new tactics, including bringing the Backs up to attack the Empire 1 goal, along with the Strikers and Mid-Fielders. Darth's Force team take a long time to enter the field, with the Empire 1 team waiting with the referee for kick off. Whatever Darth did, he did it. The Force immediately penetrate the Empire 1 line and defence to put 1…2…3….4 goals away by the Force Strikers and Mid-Fielders and two by the secret weapon of the Backs. Both teams get ready for a Penalty shoot out. But Darth, catches Big-T's attention, the Force Stopper who has a tremendously big foot and was seen practicing by himself at training sometimes. Darth signals to the team the new strategy he went over at half-time.
The match goes back and forth with only a few minutes remaining on the clock. The Penalty shoot-out looks eminent. The Empire 1 supporters begin to sing their winning chants, and smiles appear on the Empire 1 players, who have acknowledged a good match. But Big-T has other ideas, pretending to give a half effort running to the Empire 1 line, then a sudden dash and pass back to Jumpy, the Force Goalie, who has secretly entered the Empire 1 half and kicks another screamer from just inside the box, right in front. The Force supporters and camp hold their breath. The ball curves to the right and manages to just slip past the Empire 1 Goalie, Slimuth, to reach the far right of goal. The Force has won the Grand Final in the remaining seconds.
Darth and the Force camp cannot believe it. From wooden-spooners to top-of-the-table, just like Darth had promised. Darth had won the day and the hearts of the Force supporters.…